"You are Amazing God"

It is so cool to see God work. I mean, I know He is constantly at work in our lives, but it is something different to see something real and personal answered. Last night I just knelt next to my bed and pleaded with God in a way I haven't in forever. Maria had surgery today, and the whole thing scared me. I know God is in control deep down, but it is hard to trust that everything will be ok when you have no control at all over the situation. I have also been really stressed over my rooming situation for next semester. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I hate not knowing what is going to happen.

So last night I just fell to my knees and asked God to give me something, anything. I prayed for Maria, prayed that God would heal her, make everything all better. I prayed that I would get a good roommate for next year, hoping that someone would just appear and tell me "Hey, God told me to be your roommate." The thing about God though, is that He rarely answers how we ask.

Today my current roommate called me and said, "I found you a roommate for next semester." I was shocked, didn't know what to do. I tend to be a bit like Gideon, always wanting God to do one more thing to prove that He's answering. The thing is though, when we ask for something and it happens, we need to take it. That is something I'm still learning, but with God's help I'll get it down. I told Nate to tell the guy I said yes, a little nervous inside, but trying desperately to trust God on this one.

Maria went in for surgery this morning. She went through the surgery fine, she's spending the night in the hospital tonight recovering. The doctors found something odd though. They said her heart not only is plumbed strangely like we already knew, but some of the parts of her heart are in different places than they should be. That's not all either; they discovered that the doctors in China that did the first surgery nicked one of the nerves on her diaphragm during surgery, rendering half of her diaphragm useless. The broken part is actually hindering Maria's ability to breathe. Now, the doctors can do something about all of this with surgery, so she'll be fine in the long run, but that's not why I'm telling you this. You see, my prayer wasn't answered at all how I asked. As the doctors put it, Maria shouldn't have lived to be 3, she's now 4. It is only by the amazing grace of our Father that she is alive, blessing my family every day with her vitality. I'm really learning something here too. God is in control, even when things seem wrong. If He brought Maria this far, against all odds, He's going to carry her through the rest. Why should I worry, God is God, I'm not.

I'm starting to tear up as I write this. It has been so long since I have felt God work, seen His awesome power and control. The thing is, it happens everyday. He is the God of healing, the God who hears our every cry. Why do we have so much trouble going to Him with our troubles and burdens, why do we hold on so desperately to things we can't control? Why do I do these things. I could go on for hours. Suffice it to say I am in awe of the one we serve for the first time in a long time.