I was talking to a close friend yesterday and we got to talking about where I am spiritually. I quickly realized that I'm nowhere near where I need to be, it's almost as if I'm moving backwards. I mean, I want to be close to God, I want to be who He wants me to be where He wants me to be, but I just let other things get in the way of that relationship. Pride is a major one for me, I struggle with the idea of not being able to overcome something alone, I think I can do it all. The reality of the matter is that I can't, only Christ can overcome the sin in my life, only He can overcome my selfishness and pride. So my friend told me to watch this video that I'm including in this post. I'll admit, I teared up a little when watching it, it kinda captures exactly what I need God to do in my life. Hope it speaks to you too.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
22 Facts
It's been forever since I've written anything, so I thought it was about time I did. I'm gonna make it as fun and interesting as I can too. So, in honor of my 22nd birthday, here are 22 facts (not necessarily ones you'll find interesting) about me that you may or may not know.
1. I used to be a major nerd, like the comic book reading, video game obsessed kind. Still am to an extent.
2. I grew up listening to country music. I even watched CMT and sang along with every song they played.
3. I am a little addicted to facebook... ok, maybe a lot.
4. I have never set foot in a public school, I went to private school through third grade and was home schooled the rest of the time.
5. I went to Madison Central's Homecoming dance my junior year in high school... with Daniel...
6. I'm also apparently a liar.
7. I like to make people laugh, although I sometimes try to hard to be funny.
8. Playing guitar is one of the ways I relieve stress.
9. I used to have a really nasty temper, then I learned to play nice.
10. I have one tattoo, I'd like to get more too, just not sure what I'd want.
11. I tend to be really insecure with who I am, it's why I brag a lot, to compensate for it I guess.
12. I actually do like Superman, I just like Batman way better. That's probably because he is better.
13. I went to therapy for six months a few years back, ask me about it sometime if you're curious.
14. I find it easy to discipline myself in things like working out and trying to be healthier in my eating habits, but I find it incredibly hard to make myself spend time with God.
15. I plan on adopting some children from China when I get married, I really have heart for the kids there.
16. I hate speaking in front of large groups, I even used to be afraid of small groups.
17. I cried at the beginning of Up. Yes, that means I actually do have a sensitive side.
18. I hate wearing slacks, that's why you always see me in jeans.
19. I used to collect post cards, I had one from almost every state, and even a few countries.
20. I have no idea what I want to do when I get out of college, and it scares me to death.
21. I don't ever sleep... maybe I'm a vampire... Team Edward?
22. I have the greatest friends in the world. Yes, I'm cheesy and predictable sometimes too. :D
For those of you who actually read that whole thing, I'm actually impressed. I hope that maybe you discovered something about me you didn't know, or maybe I just bored you all to tears. Anyway, that's all I've got for now.
1. I used to be a major nerd, like the comic book reading, video game obsessed kind. Still am to an extent.
2. I grew up listening to country music. I even watched CMT and sang along with every song they played.
3. I am a little addicted to facebook... ok, maybe a lot.
4. I have never set foot in a public school, I went to private school through third grade and was home schooled the rest of the time.
5. I went to Madison Central's Homecoming dance my junior year in high school... with Daniel...
6. I'm also apparently a liar.
7. I like to make people laugh, although I sometimes try to hard to be funny.
8. Playing guitar is one of the ways I relieve stress.
9. I used to have a really nasty temper, then I learned to play nice.
10. I have one tattoo, I'd like to get more too, just not sure what I'd want.
11. I tend to be really insecure with who I am, it's why I brag a lot, to compensate for it I guess.
12. I actually do like Superman, I just like Batman way better. That's probably because he is better.
13. I went to therapy for six months a few years back, ask me about it sometime if you're curious.
14. I find it easy to discipline myself in things like working out and trying to be healthier in my eating habits, but I find it incredibly hard to make myself spend time with God.
15. I plan on adopting some children from China when I get married, I really have heart for the kids there.
16. I hate speaking in front of large groups, I even used to be afraid of small groups.
17. I cried at the beginning of Up. Yes, that means I actually do have a sensitive side.
18. I hate wearing slacks, that's why you always see me in jeans.
19. I used to collect post cards, I had one from almost every state, and even a few countries.
20. I have no idea what I want to do when I get out of college, and it scares me to death.
21. I don't ever sleep... maybe I'm a vampire... Team Edward?
22. I have the greatest friends in the world. Yes, I'm cheesy and predictable sometimes too. :D
For those of you who actually read that whole thing, I'm actually impressed. I hope that maybe you discovered something about me you didn't know, or maybe I just bored you all to tears. Anyway, that's all I've got for now.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Kid's Camp
I've been at Kid's Camp with Broadmoor since Friday. I'll admit, at first I was really only about the money, but things have changed since camp began. While I have been insanely busy with setup and running the audio portion of the camp rallies and the kids are very hyper and don't let me get much sleep, there have also been moments that have caused me to think. Just watching the way these kids approach spirituality is amazing. They have very real questions and issues in life but are genuinely seeking God in the answers. I saw something last night that nearly brought me to tears. When we were doing the evening rally singing, I heard the combined voices of over a hundred 3rd through 6th graders praise in such a real and raw way the One who created them. I saw them go to the altar in tears, confessing their shortcomings and asking the God of the universe to help them through. They fell on their faces in tears, crying out for mercy from their Savior. It was something I had never seen before, but I guess it's never really hit me that kids that age have issues and trials too. They are living in the same messed up world I'm in, dealing with different issues perhaps, but still struggling sometimes. There is a difference though; being older, I have become dependent on myself for the things I need. I have a lot of pride and struggle with trusting someone else for my needs. These kids still depend primarily on someone else for their needs and I guess that makes it easier for them to give their issues to God. That is something we can all learn from, we need to come to God as one of them would, humble and dependent on Him, ready to cast our cares on our God.
It has been a truly amazing weekend, I'm very glad I came now, these kids have been a great example for me instead of the other way around.
It has been a truly amazing weekend, I'm very glad I came now, these kids have been a great example for me instead of the other way around.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
It's Been Awhile
I just realized how long it's been since I've updated this thing. Kinda sad that it's been so long. It's not that I don't have time, I just don't budget my time very well. I'll get back in some routine soon I guess.
This summer has been amazing for me so far. I started the job at Broadmoor and I'm loving it. I get to do all the things I really enjoy doing and they're paying me to do it :) I've had tons of time to spend at home with the family and that has been great too.
Last week Maria actually had her surgery. She was scheduled to have lung surgery to fix things there so that she'd be ready for heart surgery later. Something amazing happened when the doctors were about to begin. They checked her lungs and she was somehow healed. Everything was great! All I can say is that God is good and miracles still happen. So the doctors went through with the heart procedure and it went great. She has been recovering for the last week, I'm actually writing this from the hospital room she is in. She will be going home by next week more than likely.
I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer has in store, I mean, it's only half over. Oh, and I'll try to make these things more regular too. :)
This summer has been amazing for me so far. I started the job at Broadmoor and I'm loving it. I get to do all the things I really enjoy doing and they're paying me to do it :) I've had tons of time to spend at home with the family and that has been great too.
Last week Maria actually had her surgery. She was scheduled to have lung surgery to fix things there so that she'd be ready for heart surgery later. Something amazing happened when the doctors were about to begin. They checked her lungs and she was somehow healed. Everything was great! All I can say is that God is good and miracles still happen. So the doctors went through with the heart procedure and it went great. She has been recovering for the last week, I'm actually writing this from the hospital room she is in. She will be going home by next week more than likely.
I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer has in store, I mean, it's only half over. Oh, and I'll try to make these things more regular too. :)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
One Week Remains
Only one more week left of school before the end of the semester. I'm definitely excited that it's almost over, but also a little sad. I've made some great friends this semester and a lot of them are leaving after next week. Some will be back next semester but others are graduating or going home for good. I guess I just wish that I had more time to build relationships with these people. I was kind of a loner for most of last semester, only hanging out with a handful of people and not really going out of my way to make new friends. This semester has been different, I've met so many amazing new people and I just wish I had been a little more outgoing.
That being said, this semester has been a great time of change for me. I feel like I'm really starting to come out of my shell, I'm learning a great deal about myself and life in general. I know next semester is going to be great too. College is a great time of learning, not only academically, but also personally and spiritually. My only regret is that it has taken me this long to learn and to begin changing. But you know, this experience isn't the end. College is important but, in the grand scheme of things, I've only just begun my journey, we all have.
That being said, this semester has been a great time of change for me. I feel like I'm really starting to come out of my shell, I'm learning a great deal about myself and life in general. I know next semester is going to be great too. College is a great time of learning, not only academically, but also personally and spiritually. My only regret is that it has taken me this long to learn and to begin changing. But you know, this experience isn't the end. College is important but, in the grand scheme of things, I've only just begun my journey, we all have.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"You are Amazing God"
It is so cool to see God work. I mean, I know He is constantly at work in our lives, but it is something different to see something real and personal answered. Last night I just knelt next to my bed and pleaded with God in a way I haven't in forever. Maria had surgery today, and the whole thing scared me. I know God is in control deep down, but it is hard to trust that everything will be ok when you have no control at all over the situation. I have also been really stressed over my rooming situation for next semester. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I hate not knowing what is going to happen.
So last night I just fell to my knees and asked God to give me something, anything. I prayed for Maria, prayed that God would heal her, make everything all better. I prayed that I would get a good roommate for next year, hoping that someone would just appear and tell me "Hey, God told me to be your roommate." The thing about God though, is that He rarely answers how we ask.
Today my current roommate called me and said, "I found you a roommate for next semester." I was shocked, didn't know what to do. I tend to be a bit like Gideon, always wanting God to do one more thing to prove that He's answering. The thing is though, when we ask for something and it happens, we need to take it. That is something I'm still learning, but with God's help I'll get it down. I told Nate to tell the guy I said yes, a little nervous inside, but trying desperately to trust God on this one.
Maria went in for surgery this morning. She went through the surgery fine, she's spending the night in the hospital tonight recovering. The doctors found something odd though. They said her heart not only is plumbed strangely like we already knew, but some of the parts of her heart are in different places than they should be. That's not all either; they discovered that the doctors in China that did the first surgery nicked one of the nerves on her diaphragm during surgery, rendering half of her diaphragm useless. The broken part is actually hindering Maria's ability to breathe. Now, the doctors can do something about all of this with surgery, so she'll be fine in the long run, but that's not why I'm telling you this. You see, my prayer wasn't answered at all how I asked. As the doctors put it, Maria shouldn't have lived to be 3, she's now 4. It is only by the amazing grace of our Father that she is alive, blessing my family every day with her vitality. I'm really learning something here too. God is in control, even when things seem wrong. If He brought Maria this far, against all odds, He's going to carry her through the rest. Why should I worry, God is God, I'm not.
I'm starting to tear up as I write this. It has been so long since I have felt God work, seen His awesome power and control. The thing is, it happens everyday. He is the God of healing, the God who hears our every cry. Why do we have so much trouble going to Him with our troubles and burdens, why do we hold on so desperately to things we can't control? Why do I do these things. I could go on for hours. Suffice it to say I am in awe of the one we serve for the first time in a long time.
So last night I just fell to my knees and asked God to give me something, anything. I prayed for Maria, prayed that God would heal her, make everything all better. I prayed that I would get a good roommate for next year, hoping that someone would just appear and tell me "Hey, God told me to be your roommate." The thing about God though, is that He rarely answers how we ask.
Today my current roommate called me and said, "I found you a roommate for next semester." I was shocked, didn't know what to do. I tend to be a bit like Gideon, always wanting God to do one more thing to prove that He's answering. The thing is though, when we ask for something and it happens, we need to take it. That is something I'm still learning, but with God's help I'll get it down. I told Nate to tell the guy I said yes, a little nervous inside, but trying desperately to trust God on this one.
Maria went in for surgery this morning. She went through the surgery fine, she's spending the night in the hospital tonight recovering. The doctors found something odd though. They said her heart not only is plumbed strangely like we already knew, but some of the parts of her heart are in different places than they should be. That's not all either; they discovered that the doctors in China that did the first surgery nicked one of the nerves on her diaphragm during surgery, rendering half of her diaphragm useless. The broken part is actually hindering Maria's ability to breathe. Now, the doctors can do something about all of this with surgery, so she'll be fine in the long run, but that's not why I'm telling you this. You see, my prayer wasn't answered at all how I asked. As the doctors put it, Maria shouldn't have lived to be 3, she's now 4. It is only by the amazing grace of our Father that she is alive, blessing my family every day with her vitality. I'm really learning something here too. God is in control, even when things seem wrong. If He brought Maria this far, against all odds, He's going to carry her through the rest. Why should I worry, God is God, I'm not.
I'm starting to tear up as I write this. It has been so long since I have felt God work, seen His awesome power and control. The thing is, it happens everyday. He is the God of healing, the God who hears our every cry. Why do we have so much trouble going to Him with our troubles and burdens, why do we hold on so desperately to things we can't control? Why do I do these things. I could go on for hours. Suffice it to say I am in awe of the one we serve for the first time in a long time.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Try Not to Smash Your Fingers
I went and did a Habitat for Humanity build today. It's truly amazing to hear the sound of several dozen hammers pounding at once, all by complete strangers trying to help a family achieve the goal of owning their own home. That sort of showing of love is what it's all about. This was my second habitat build, and I would go again in a heartbeat. There is just something about helping a complete stranger, not to mention I had a fantastic time. I mean, it's not every day I you get to use lots of tools and climb up on top of houses. Anyway, now I'm just rambling. If you ever get a chance, volunteer. You'll enjoy it, I promise.
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